The Selfish Kind

Throughout life set-backs and tribulations occur that try even the strongest of personalities.  Often the reactions to these events define what a person is and can be.  Drug addiction and alcoholism often take form in what can be the weaker of personalities.  Success and fame on the opposite end of the same spectrum.  Rags to riches stories and such.  A person’s ability to take terrible situations and turn them into learning experiences often considered contributions to their successes.  We often see things in black and white, good or bad, triumphant success or abundant failure.  One type that tends to get over looked is the outright selfish.  The person that only thinks of his or herself.  Sure, in every scenario there’s always a certain aspect of self-righteousness or self-loathing but those are often triggered by emotion or experience.  I’m talking about the person that lacks enough empathy to consider the effects of their own choices and actions on a fellow person.  Leaving behind in their wake a variety of ailments, mishaps and misfortune that drives the lives of not only the people they affect, but the opportunities afforded to said individual.

One can be said to have bad, hard or no luck when asked why things haven’t worked out for them.    Another person’s agenda contributing to this individual’s pitfalls when inquiry takes place.  No responsibility assigned to themselves for the actions that take place.  Minor sickness used to lay out from work on multiple occasions in a short span, work related “injury” used to take more time away.  Ultimately a lack of wanting to work the true reasoning.  When propositioned for explanation the inability to assimilate into the previously formed interoffice group gets cited for their firing.  At no point is the notion of unreliability and lack of responsibility considered.  Only the narrative that someone else’s grievances were unfounded but ultimately prevailed.

The thought comes to mind how this same person can maintain any kind of lifestyle.  The answer is usually simple.  Through the patience of another.  While unearned, the chance is still often given to alleviate most responsibility for this person to build their own life again.  No direct responsibility to pay general utilities and housing, only the opportunity to contribute or share in the burden.  In this scenario, all the risk is on the other person.  One would think given the opportunity that this personality would take the lead in their own life and advance themselves whether it be through education or simply saving to provide themselves the lifestyle desired.  Seldom is this the case.  With no push or drive the easiest route gets taken.  The buffer from the generosity gets abused with late payment and desired purchases before payment.  Jobs don’t need to be held consistently as this person isn’t solely responsible for the upkeep of a household.

Relationships also tend keep to a rotation with this personality as well.  When responsibility isn’t directly accepted by said individual the other half tends to be left with inadequate emotional or again financial ruin due to attempted support.  Another issue that tends to emerge is the lack of faithfulness.  When a person never perceives themselves at fault, excuses can be used to qualify this deplorable behavior.  Blame for inadequacy put on the supporting partner.  Partners I believe take the largest impact from this kind of person.  Wasted time attempting to meet every possible standard this person may have.  Missed opportunities while attempting to appease and strengthen the person they’re with.  Eventually left with heart ache, deep mistrust and financial ruin.

Family tends to incur the largest financial impact, especially depending on the family size and moral guidelines instilled.  The larger the family the more often it gets used to support said habits.  The inherent sense of “taking care of our own” prevails often and many financial, residential and connective avenues open for this person to fall back on.  A bill paid one month, gas money the following month, the list goes on and on.  Eventually this well usually runs dry but not before incurring large expenses that most often are forgotten by the selfish type.  Sure, they can talk about repayment, but it’s family, no need to rush to repay.  The assumption that debt is forgiven provided enough time has passed.  In the best-case scenario, the family member gave extra earned money that may have been used for their very own frivolous expenditures.  But most often the family member will forego their own obligations to bail out the same selfish person that has no qualms about exploiting the financial abilities of the members that hold steady jobs or revenue streams.

While some of the scenarios may seem farfetched, it is all too often a reality in many daily lives.  Some cases may not be as extreme; however, most can evaluate their own lives and recognize at least one person that carries these same characteristics I’ve described.  The obvious statement can be made not to enable such a person, but often the lines get blurred by emotion and sense of duty.  This kind of person will always be a part of society and will continually wreak havoc in multiple lives throughout their own lifetime.